Happy Halloween!!

Ahh, once again it's that time again, so it's out with the razor blades and apples as another Samhain rolls in. Every year I usually do the same thing, a few beers and endless stream of gory seasonal horror movies. But this year it's going to be a little different but I am still hoping for a Halloween Bloodbath at my UFC 137 party. Yup - I've given it all up this year to see one of my favourite fighters, Nick Diaz, take on 'The Prodigy', BJ Penn.

List: Worst (or maybe Best) First Date movies

Ok first dates are all about first impressions. So what better to impress you potential new boy/girl or transgendered partner. So here's a list of films that will definably make a big impression. In no particular order:

1) Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS (1975) - Directed by Don Edmonds.
The hands down king (or should I say Königin) of the Nazi Exploitation genre due to the scenary chewing (though charismatic) acting of lead actress, Dyanne Thorne. Other that it's the usual uniformed affair - graphic torture, nudity and dodgy accents but the whole thing is so over the top it's hard to find it really that offensive (well almost). Some trivia, this movie was filmed on the sets of dire American comedy, 'Hogan's Heroes'.

2) Salo: 120 Days of Sodom (1975) - Directed by Pier Paolo Pasolin.
Based loosely on the light romantic novel by the Marque de Sade. A group of fascists towards the end of World War 2 take refuse in a castle bringing with them a selection of teenage boys and girls to amuse their sadistic appetites. You know when a film has a chapter called 'Circle of Shit', that it's not going to be fun for anyone.

3) Slaughtered Vomit Dolls (2006) - Directed by Lucifer Valentine.
Mindless, stream of consciousness spewed (literally) from the brain of a strung out crack whore. Hard to watch for all the wrong reasons but this didn't stop director, Lucifer Valentine, making this part of a vomit filled trilogy.

4) Pink Flamingos (1972) - Directed by John Waters.
Early John Waters film, featuring 350lbs transvestite, Divine, going on a quest to become "The Filthiest Person Alive". And before you ask, the dog shit scene was done for real.

5) Flowers of Flesh & Blood (1985) - Directed by Hideshi Hino.
Part of the infamous Guinea Pig series. No plot as such just as such just some demented  Samurai cutting up a body for 50 or minutes. This film first probably came to most peoples  attention with the story of pre-Tiger Blood, Charlie Sheen, informing the FBI that this was a  real life 'snuff movie'.

Click for the rest of the list...

Review: Shark Night 3D (2011)

It's a great time for horror - never before would such straight to DVD crap be shown on the big screen. Honestly you can't be too hard on it, it's called 'Shark Night 3D' after all. I did expect the dumb, shallow annoying characters but what surprised me was the bad the CGI was. It looked like something from the Syfy Channel or  the dross that Asylum pump out. But what shocked me the most was them going for a 15A Cert (PG13 for you Yanks). It might have been more enjoyable it they upped the gore 100 fold and added some T&A and make it some sort of contender to Alexandre Aja's Piranha.

So it's a film that falls between 2 stools - it's not gory/violent enough for the real horror crowd and too cheap and trashy of main stream audiences.

Despite all this I did enjoy it but you have to understand I was such a shark nerd as a kid and Jaws is probably is in my top 3 favourite films of all time. Add to this the influence of cheap cider then make up your own mind on how reliable my opinion is.I also have to add the film was pretty educational as I had never heard of 'cookie cutter' sharks before this film (another creature that needs to be added the the website, animalsbeingdicks.com).

Request of Film List ideas?

I'm going to do a weekly list of my favourite types of films - I'm going to kick it off in a few days with a 'Best First Date Movies' list. Considering the first film I saw with my better half was 'Ilsa She-Wolf of SS' then you'll get what I'm talking about. She said bring over anything that wasn't 'horror', I figured a good lawyer could get me off on a technicality with 'Ilsa'...

So post suggestions? It has to a genre that I can name at  least 10 films..

News: John Dies at the End

Don Coscarelli, the man behind the legendary Phantasm franchise, has a new film on the horizon. It's an adaptation of Jason Pargin darkly humorous horror novel, John Dies at the End. The story surround 2 Slackers and their encounters with an hallucinogenic drug that has a sinister effect on its users. Chase Williamson and Rob Mayes play the leads with supporting roles going to the more familiar faces of Paul Giamatti and Clancy Brown.

But it's not all good for Coscarelli as its likely that his sequel to comedy horror Bubba Ho-Tep is unlikely to happen. The film, titled 'Bubba Nosferatu: Curse of the She-Vampires' was to star Bruce Campbell who was to reprise his role as an aging Elvis Presley. Unfortunately, Campbell isn't willing to work with the director again in order 'to preserve their friendship'. Whatever that means. It's a pity as Paul Giamatti was also meant to star playing the Kings manipulative manager, Colonel Parker.

Trailer for  John Dies at the End:

Mondo Robbery Part 1

Einstein said 'For every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction' - well in the world of exploitation films that isn't entirely true. For every big budget or successful film there is a reaction but whether that is equal or not is debatable. We're talking about 'rip off' films, those released to cash in on the success of the popular movie. These can be 'unofficial' sequels, titles designed to confuse viewers with the original movie or just blatant 'we have no copyright here' clones. The ironic things is that some of these productions are occasionally better than the original or at least just as enjoyable in a sideshow kind of way. For these reasons they've attracted legions of followers and collectors (here a 'legion' is defined as some where between 10 and a few dozen).

So let's have a look at the most notorious (and some of my favourite) of this unethical genre...

A-Listers in B-Movies

Not everyone's first role is in a big Hollywood Blockbuster, infact most of today's 'stars' had to come up the hard way appearing in everything from commercials, TV shows or cheap B-Movies or Horrors. And it's the latter that we're looking at here. So roll out the rogue's gallery:

Brad Pitt Before Pitt swished his way through Thelma & Louise, he had another bad boy character but this time in a bottom of the barrel, slasher film called 'Cutting Class'. And those of who were really paid attention might have noticed himself in an episode of horror anthology series, 'Freddy's Nightmares', titled 'Black Tickets'.